Cancer Sucks, Strike 3!

(July 2008)

Someone apparently thought that things were just going to well this year or maybe that we just should get all the ugly stuff taken care of all at once.  Whatever it was, I don't agree.  My mom came out to my house the first time since my dad had passed away at the end of June so that she could come and be here for Christian's baptism as well as visit.  (yeah, I know, waaaaay behind on blogging.)  I was so excited for her to come. 

After the kids had been dismissed from dinner and flitted away to play with friends until the sun went down, my mom cleared her throat.  " I have something to tell you," she said.  I knew right then that she had cancer.  One of the times I had been home a few years back she needed a ride to get a mammogram because her doctor had been concerned.  Everything checked out fine at the time, but it was always in the back of my mind since her side of the family has tons of cancer in its history.  Yay, me!

She had already beat uterine cancer about five years ago, that was strike one.  My dad having died so recently was strike two.  Now we had strike three.  She had just had a biopsy done right before she came to my house, so wasn't sure what they were going to find, but she was pretty sure she had breast cancer.  When she got home from my house two weeks later, the doctor confirmed the findings.  She asked Mike and I if I would come out and help her for the surgery if she had to have one.  Mike's schedule is always pretty crazy, but he said we would figure it out and yes, I would be there. 

We thought the surgery would be about a month before school started, so it would not be a problem for me to take the kids so that I wouldn't have to worry about Mike's schedule.  I didn't find out until I was at my sister's house in Oregon at then end of July that it was going to be the day after school started.  My mom and I had talked previously about how that would be the only way I wouldn't be able to come.  How would Mike be able to take care of the kids while I was gone?  He was going to be in Florida the first three days of school and it would be the first two days of me being gone, but I couldn't, who would take care of my kids?  I was so crestfallen (yeah, I got that from the thesaurus). 

When I got to my mom's house a few days later (I was traveling around to see family while Mike was at the National Boy Scout Jamboree) I pulled aside my aunts, at different times, who both happened to be there to ask them how she was doing.  They both said separately how she was really devastated when I said I wasn't going to be there, but she picked herself back up and was doing better.  Of course, all of this was made harder by the fact my dad had just passed away less than 5 months before.  I asked my mom the next evening what she needed from me.  She has a hard time asking anyone to do anything for her, she has always been the one serving us (and she does that to the highest degree).  She broke down and said that she was scared about the surgery and finally admitted that she wanted me to be there.  I started looking at different things and finally got a hold of Mike in Virginia (NOT easy) and found a way while using faith, that I could come again.  When I told my mom, who had been so stoic about me not coming, that I would be coming, she was so relieved.  Now, not that many other people didn't offer help, but it was nice for me to be able to go and help.

After staying with her for that week, we found that it really was a blessing that I would come after school started.  The kids were a little louder at her house while we had been visiting than is really good for someone recovering from surgery.   I was up in the night a lot helping with medicine and other things, so I needed naps too (sleep is something my kids don't think I need). 

I am so glad that I finally got a chance to be of great service to my mom after all she has done for me.  It was so nice to be there with just her for almost two weeks.  I am grateful for a husband and awesome neighbors (who took care of my kids for two days while Mike was gone) that enabled me to go.  My family has so rallied around my mom and all want to help out.  When I left to go back home, my mom was still not ready to be on her own, but she was well enough to go and stay with my sister who is less than an hour away until she was.  Although not a fun thing to go through, she was so grateful for the opportunity to be there with my sister and her family and seeing how they functioned as a family.  Something she hasn't had an opportunity to do since they live so close.  Little blessing amidst the trials. 

Cancer Sucks, but she is doing well and we have great hope for her outcome.  She has just had her second of four chemo treatments and other sisters are going and helping her too.  My brother's family in town has been going and cleaning her house and getting groceries.  My aunt who lives close is always helping with driving her to appointments and anything else.  We all want to serve.  Perhaps the sweetest experiences come through our trials.  It was a sweet time to be with my mom.  I look forward to being with her other times when she is well again, but serving brings about a deep bond of love.  I am grateful for my mom's example in my life and the strength she has been to me and I count on her to continue being around to be that example once she kicks this cancer too!